Why Her? Book Review

Remember back to this spring? I had shared with you Why I Didn’t Give Up Anything For Lent. Instead of “giving up” something for lent, I wanted to find a daily devotional that I would actually stick with. I was happy to find an app, First 5, for my phone that uploaded a new devotional once a day. It was during that time, I was sent an email from the Proverbs 31 Ministries group (the owners of the First 5 app), inviting me to an online bible study that discussed a new Christian book called, “Why Her?” by Nicki Koziarz.

Why Her? Battling Comparison With Faith

The title of the email had peaked my interest, We all have a “her” in our lives..., but I was hesitant to join this online bible study. Having never been a part of one before, I didn’t know what to expect. At the time, I ignored the email. After a few weeks, there was something inside me that said:

Read it.

Understand it.

Live it.

I ordered the book on Amazon. It shipped quickly and there it sat.

On my coffee table.

For months.

Not that I don’t read, because I do daily without fail.

It was just. I wasn’t ready.

I wasn’t ready for the truths it would bring.

Because we have all been there. We have all had a “her”.

To quote the original Proverbs 31 email, we have all had “the gorgeous girl at the gym who doesn’t break a sweat. The loving wife who seems to have the perfect marriage. The successful business woman who has accomplished more in the past two years than you have in your entire career. She leaves us feeling insecure.”

I was hiding those insecurities. Well not completely. They sat out on the corner of my coffee table for the world to see. But those actual insecurities were hidden IN me.

Finally, about a month ago, that voice came up again and said, “it’s time”.

Read it.

Understand it.

Live it.

Why Her? Truths

Boy did I ever read it! (As proved by my many… many post-it notes).

Nicki, the author, was able to make this book not feel like a bible study, but more of a heart to heart talk between friends. With the resounding theme being you’re not alone!

The book is broken down into six chapters, or how Nicki describes them, “Six truths we need to hear when measuring up leaves us feeling behind”:

Truth 1: You Need To Be Honest

Truth 2: See It Like It Really Is

Truth 3: You Don’t Always Have To Be Okay

Truth 4: You Didn’t Do Anything Wrong

Truth 5: Her Gain Is Not Your Loss (Whoa… This One Is Huge!)

Truth 6: Let The Success Of Others Encourage, Not Discourage You

Why Her? Social Media

One of my biggest takeaways from this book was how social media brings our struggles with comparison to the forefront.

How many times (a day) do we jump onto Facebook and Instagram and see “her”?

The woman with the rocking body.

The one jet setting around the world.

The long mushy-gushy love post that the husband wrote about her.

The Pinterest perfect mom making homemade treats for her child’s classroom.

Alright let’s hit the pause button right here. Reality check.

To quote the “Why Her” book. Social media is “everyone’s highlight reel, just waiting, almost begging, for us to view.”

And that’s just it, Facebook and Instagram. They’re where everyone posts their HIGHLIGHTS!

Not the hours of sweating in a gym, not the hours of overtime put into afford a big vacation, not the hours spent in marriage counseling, not the hours spent in a hospital for fertility treatments.

Everyone has struggles. And those struggles are usually not the perfect picture we look to share on social media. So stop comparing your struggles with another’s highlights.

Why Her? Her Gain Is Not Your Loss

I told you earlier this one was huge for me.

Her Gain Is Not Your Loss.

Can we let that sink in a moment?

Because I have to read it daily as a reminder. Being in my late 20’s (gulp), has me comparing so much of my life to my “peers”. Those that I graduated high school and college with. Where are they compared to where I am?

They have thriving careers. Some days I feel I’m treading water.

They have devoted spouses. I’m eating ramen on my couch in yoga pants. Solo.

They have cute little baby bumps. Pretty sure mine is the burrito grande I ate for lunch.

Some days, I just feel bitter. And that’s a hard place to be. I find myself rolling my eyes at another work promotion, another engagement, or another birth announcement.

And that leads me to asking God, “When is it going to be MY turn?”

(Don’t get me wrong. I am beyond blessed. I have my health, a loving family, friends who are always up for an adventure, a comfortable home, co-workers who are always able to make me laugh, and all you lovely blog readers.)

Why Her? Bitterness or Breakthrough

But newsflash!

Since when does her gains mean that you are losing?

It shouldn’t. Reading this book has let me see that God is placing us exactly where he wants us to be.

Each and everyone of us. We all run this race of life at different paces and in different ways.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that mine is going at a snail’s pace since these short stubby legs were never really made for running. Or even a brisk walk for that matter.

But I have two options about that. To be bitter or to have a breakthrough.

I’m aiming for the breakthrough. How about you?

Why Her? Chapter 2

One of my favorite quotes in the book is this.

“Don’t compare your chapter two with someone else’s chapter twelve.”

Love where your life is at this moment. And live it as fully as possible.

If anything, this book is a great reminder to do just that!